Funds in limbo because the transaction took too long, how do I get them back?

Question

I sent XMR in two transaction attempts to an exchange that required the purchase be funded within 3 hours.

For some reason, even though I had smaller previous transactions go through successfully, these did not.

The recipient says my transaction id is not in their system.

One of them looks fully completed in XMRchain.net. The other shows up in my wallet's transaction list as "unidentified recipient".

In either case, they don't have the money and neither do I. This was 5 days ago. When I look up the transaction id, the confirmations are in the 4000s.

How do I get the funds back?

Answer 1

The recipient says my transaction id is not in their system.

Assuming you sent to the correct address and the tx has been mined, you can provide the recipient with a proof of payment. See: How to prove payment

One of them looks fully completed in XMRchain.net. The other shows up in my wallet's transaction list as "unidentified recipient".

1. If you sent funds and the tx has has been mined (so you can find it on an explorer like xmrchain.net), the only way to "get them back" is by asking the recipient to refund you.

2. If you sent funds that have not been broadcast or mined (i.e. they are stuck pending), see this Q/A.

When I look up the transaction id, the confirmations are in the 4000s... How do I get the funds back?

See point #1 above.