As the title says, I'd like to know where I can currently spend Monero be they DNMs or otherwise, and not just something where there is shapshift automagically converting things in the background, something where the vendor is selling for Monero?
Yes! There is, on the official getmonero.org website:
The nice part about this site is that the page is hosted on github, and anyone can add a merchant to that page but submitting a pull request here:
You can look at past edits to that page if you need help with submitting an edit.